How to Make Friends as an Adult
Friendship is so important and adds greatly to our overall well-being. In this week’s blog I want to help you find ways to make new friends during a Global Pandemic, that has been going on for a year now. Many people are feeling more alone and isolated than ever. Having meaningful friendships gives a richness to life and can add significantly to our Happiness and overall well-being. Having healthy friendships, especially for older adults, is a predictor of long-term physical and emotional health. Scientists also believe quality friendships positively impact our life expectancy, actually helping us live longer. All our relationships impact our development as we age, so healthy friendships are crucial.
Friendships help us mold our world view and sense of self. These should be safe spaces in our lives, where we feel totally accepted, seen, and heard. Sometimes friend bonds can be even more significant than family bonds. Many people feel more comfortable with friends than they do family, especially when there are often family conflicts. When we are hurt, we are hurt in relation to others. This means we must heal in relation to others. This is why friendships can be so important. They help support us through our rough patches, as we can do the same for them. Friends bring joy to life and can keep us honest with ourselves.
What are some of the challenges adults face in making friends?
Making friends in adulthood can be really frustrating, especially when you work from home, have an unusual work schedule, or don’t have a typical job. It’s harder to meet people naturally these days, because our access is limited to certain things in life at times. Luckily, Technology today allows us to communicate in more meaningful ways than we had access to, even just 20 years ago. We are able to stay connected in numerous ways and still feel close to loved ones, even when we can’t be together physically.
Making friends can be hard for many reasons. Having low self-confidence or worth can make it hard to put yourself out there or trust that people want to be your friend. Fears, like being criticized by others, can make it harder to make new friends and expand our social circles. Many people have social anxiety and their fear of being judged or saying something ‘stupid’ gets in the way of socializing comfortably. It doesn’t always matter whether or not you are in a relationship either, as there are different challenges with both. When we are in a relationship, we can sometimes get into the habit of spending all our time with our partner, and miss opportunities to make new connections. When we are single, we may not want to risk going out of our comfort zone to socialize with new people. We can fear experiencing rejection, embarrassment, or feeling awkward.
Regardless of the reason, if you find yourself having a hard time meeting new friends, here are some suggestions:
Join a small, local gym, yoga studio, or dance class. In a smaller, more intimate settings it will be easier to start to get to know the staff and notice other regulars. Smaller gyms and studios might also feel safer right now, and not being in large, crowded gyms. There are also tons of yoga practitioners offering Yoga in the Park type meetups when the weather is nice, so you can be outdoors instead of inside. Bring your yoga mat and a water bottle and join in when the weather gets warmer. Large gyms or studios can be intimidating and make it hard to socialize.
Try out a new hobby, or deepen your skills in a hobby you already love…Take a class or attend a workshop of something that you are passionate about or want to learn more about. There are so many options, in our communities and online, for learning about a variety of different topics, including stained glass classes, planting/gardening, learning entrepreneurial skills, programming, and how to fix household items. Take a pottery class, or a class to learn a new language. If you do, find someone local you can practice speaking that language with. This doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. Find something that interests you and it will be easier to find people you have common ground with.
Check social Media! See if there is a local Social Media group for your age range or profession. There are so many of these out there. They make it really easy to network and find others in your field or who have similar interests. It can also be a way to collaborate and build business references, or find local recommendations. Facebook has many types of groups that are local, as well as strictly online. There are groups for specific interests, for various ages, or different genders and preferences. Reddit has tons of subreddits for all different interests: Motorcycles, Embroidery, Meditation, and so many more. These websites can be great ways to meet friends online or in person.
Look for an acquaintance on Social media who is frequently posting pictures of food—They may be the perfect opportunity to meet for dinner and get to know them better. Create a list of local restaurants you’ve been wanting to try and see who wants to tag along on your venture. See if they have any spots they have been wanting to try and take turns picking places to go.
What are other good ways to find friends?
Find volunteer opportunities in your community. There are some really unique volunteer options in museums, sporting events, festivals, helping kids, working with the Homeless population, animal shelters, camps, and the list goes on…Find something in an area that interests you and get to know the other volunteers or staff. This is a great way to meet people with similar interests or values.
If you like any games, join an online league. There are online leagues for chess, poker, Solitaire, numerous apps, and video games. Video games are a great way to play with people from all over, without leaving the comfort of your home. If you already play these, see about using these platforms to make more friends. Online friendships can be just as meaningful as in-person ones, especially with the technology we have today. You can also join a basketball game at a local park or meet friends by bringing a skateboard down to a skate park. There are hockey, softball, and kickball leagues in many communities.
Join a MeetUp group. Meetup.com is a great website and app that allows people to create all sorts of events and gatherings. Some groups are meeting in person, but many are also meeting online. There are posts ranging from opportunities to join hikes with others, free yoga in the park, book clubs and so so many more! There are groups that meet up for coffee and discuss poetry, or groups that talk about makeup techniques, or groups that like the same TV shows or bands. Find a few groups with a shared interest and see if you can join a Zoom session or go to an in-person event.
Try apps like Bumble BFF. These are apps specifically tailored to making friends and meeting people who could become friends. Go on some friend dates! Try something new together! Even websites like Linkedin can be a way to meet other professionals in your same career.
What are good techniques when trying to make friends?
When approaching people, in effort to make friends with them, look for commonalities and things you share with each other. These are points you can comment on to start conversations. Giving a compliment is also a great way to open a conversation up. Let someone know you like their outfit, or their hair color, or their cologne. Generally, people respond well to complements and you come across as friendly and open. Ask others to teach you about their passions and hobbies. Set an intention to be open and approachable when you go out in the world. Smile and make eye contact with people. If this is something that is hard for you, that’s okay! Allow yourself to practice and remember most people you see won’t remember you and you’ll never see them again, but if you smile and stay open, you might just make a new connection.
I hope this post has been helpful for you and given you some inspiration to meet new people. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Have fun and don’t take things too seriously! Be yourself and find people who love you for you!
To gain more confidence and get support in putting yourself out there, click here today to apply to work with me!
Sarah Seraphina is a Spiritual Activator and Liberation Guide. She is the owner of Nurtured Essence, a healing space, aimed at helping women overcome their past patterns and fears, so they may thrive and live with more power, purpose, ease, and joy. She specializes in working with healers, recovering empaths and “Damsels in Distress”, highly-sensitive women, lightworkers, and women with a sacred mission.
