Finding your Inner Wisdom
Do you struggle to make decisions? Do you constantly ask for advice from friends and family on how you should handle a situation or whether to act?
It can certainly be helpful to get support from loved ones when we’re facing tough situations in our lives. However, we want to be aware of always needing to seek external validation. We enable ourselves and our intuition when we go outside of ourselves for answers or confirmation.
Do you trust yourself?
You know best what is best for you. When you frequently seek advice from others, you are sending yourself the message “I don’t trust myself. I’m not __________ enough to figure it out.” Filling in that blank could be “I’m not good, smart, capable, strong…enough.” I’ve been there. Self-doubt can be debilitating at times.
We learn as children not to trust ourselves, especially if parents didn’t trust you. It was common to hear from adults “Don’t do that!” or “Don’t say that!” when we were young and figuring the world out. This may have translated as doing things wrong often out of simply not knowing. We then watched others and saw how they did things, which also wasn’t always the best way to go about a situation. They may have acted in a way that was most appropriate for them, and/or what they thought others would want them to do. The method they chose may not have been what would have been best for you and your unique personality.
The goal is to be authentic in the world. To be able to show those around us who we truly are. To honor our unique needs and passions. To hone our unique gifts and bring them to the world to share. In effort to start building confidence and gain trust back with yourself, it is important to start listening to yourself. Believe in yourself and have faith that you can honor your unique way of being in the world.
Was is our Inner Wisdom and how can we access it?
When I was newly in the therapy profession, and fresh out of Graduate school, I was very nervous working with clients at first. I was afraid I was going to say or do the wrong thing and cause them to lose faith in me. I would often think of a professor from my graduate program. I really looked up to her and admired her. She was so wise, strong, but gentle too. I remember wishing I could download all the wisdom and intelligence she’s gained through experience over the years.
In the beginning of my career, and during moments of uncertainty working with a client, I would frequently wonder what she would do or say in the same situation I was facing. In doing so, I was able to receive an idea of how to proceed.
In doing so, I found a path. I found I knew what to say and do. I found in time I could start to trust that I would know how to respond to a client in a thoughtful and reassuring way. Now, the answer wasn’t coming from my professor. I didn’t actually call her to ask. I simply got quiet within and asked myself “What would she do?” In this way I was able to tap into my own Wise Mind. By calling on her, I was able to lower my mental barriers that were created by fear, and see beyond them.
Following the way of someone I respected allowed me to build positive beliefs about myself as a therapist and by ability to help others. This is often a very beneficial way to learn. In following a model of who we would like to be like, we can gain the confidence to start creating our own path on our journey.
When we conjure the image of someone we admire and ask how they would handle a situation, what we are actually doing is calling upon these parts of ourselves. We might call upon their strength or their great wisdom to guide us. When we follow this practice the answer still comes from within us. We carry that strength and wisdom too. We just rarely tap into it because we aren’t used to believing in ourselves.
It’s important to note, the person you’re thinking about doesn’t have to be someone you know. You can choose a role model from anywhere. It can be a celebrity or historical figure, for example. I have definitely asked myself “What would Michelle Obama do?” or Beyonce, or Ghandi, or even a fictional character, like Leslie Knope! Different situations may require different role models. Be playful with this part.
How can your inner wisdom help you?
The next time you have a decision to make, that you are struggling with, would be a good time to practice using this technique and begin regaining your self-trust. Sit quietly some place you won’t be disturbed. Make sure you are feeling calm, or take some deep breaths to center yourself.
Consider the situation. Where do you feel stuck? What do you think is causing you to feel this way? Then mentally call upon someone you admire. Imagine them in your mind. What do you like about them? What makes them someone you would trust? If this person were here talking through the situation with you, what advice do you think they would offer?
What might their perspective be on the situation? What leads you to believe this is how they would feel? How can you take this sort of action in a way that is also authentic to you and who you are? It can be helpful to journal during or after this task to explore the answers to these questions and come back to your process another time.
Explore this process using different role models. You can even do this with your future self. What advice would your 60-year-old-self give you if they were here with you? Would your 80-year-old-self have different advice? The more you practice, the easier it will get to tap into your intuition. This simple technique can change the way you handle conflicts and challenges in life.
To learn more about how I can help you access your inner wisdom and build self-trust, click here.
Sarah Seraphina is a Spiritual Activator and Liberation Guide. She is the owner of Nurtured Essence, a healing space, aimed at helping women overcome their past patterns and fears, so they may thrive and live with more power, purpose, ease, and joy. She specializes in working with healers, recovering empaths and “Damsels in Distress”, highly-sensitive women, lightworkers, and women with a sacred mission.
